It All Came Tumbling Down: Part 9
Landon grieves.
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash
August 2020
A slender young man in his twenties, wearing a chic blazer with combed back hair stepped into a noisy bar filled with other young men, most of whom were clad in black with white collars. He furled his brow, scanning the room for a familiar face but was met with skeptic stares.
He cleared his throat and mustered a small, shy smile, unsure of whether he should ask for help.
“Lou!” a voice called from the other side of the bar. “Lucas! Right here, man!” Landon shoved his glass of beer in the air to make himself more visible and stood up to weave his way through the crowd of his fellow seminarians toward his brother. Lucas grinned. The sound of Landon’s voice felt like home to him in a life where everyone else seemed like a stranger. The brothers embraced heartily, slapping each other’s backs and chuckling. Landon stepped back and held his brother’s face between his palms, grinning.
“You look fantastic! Gah-lee it’s been too long, brother.”
Lucas smiled shyly, drinking in the affirmation, the warmth. “That’s your own fault,” he teased. “You don’t come home for summer anymore.”
Landon smirked. “Would you if you were me?” he asked. “I can only take so many cold shoulders from Dad.”
Lucas laughed, nodding in agreement, just as two men stood up from the bar and Landon moved to take their stools. “Have a seat, man,” he told his brother. They ordered drinks and Landon introduced his brother to several of his friends who had been eager to meet his twin from the city. Hours passed and the crowd thinned until it was after midnight and the two were sharing a plate of cheese fries, a gentle clinking beside them as the bartender put away glasses.
“You’ve got a good thing here, man,” Lucas sighed. “It’s a good place.”
Landon smiled. “It is,” he agreed, “It’s such a brotherhood. There are some guys I could go without. But I love it here.”
“You miss females?”
“Hell yes, I miss females,” Landon winced with a grin. “I miss being around Mom and Laura. How’s Kaya these days? She wrote me a couple letters last year.”
Lucas popped a fry into his mouth and chased it with a sip of beer. “Haven’t seen her,” he said casually. “She and Owen split.”
“No!” Landon exclaimed. “Are you serious?” He groaned. “She was like the best thing that ever happened to him.” He shook his head in disappointment. “I love that girl.”
“She’s a gem,” Lucas agreed. “He got her pregnant and things went downhill—”
“Pregnant?” Landon’s eyes widened and he felt his heart rate pick up. Frowning, he asked, “He’s helping her with the baby though, right?”
“No, Lan. There’s no baby. She got an abortion.” Lucas wiped the grease off his face and took another drink. He watched the bartender working beside them and wondered how old he was. He gazed around the room at the religious paraphernalia and polished wood theme, wondering about the years of bustling, seminarian activity the walls had seen. Lucas was lost in the city, clocking in day after day at an architecture firm, mostly out of spite toward Alistair, whom he refused to work for. He was unsure of the direction his life would take and he assumed Landon was a little lost at seminary. Maybe he was, Lucas reasoned, but he didn’t seem the least bit worried about it. When he finally looked back at his brother, he was taken aback to see tears pooling in his eyes.
“Landon,” he stared in confusion. “What’s wrong, man?”
Landon took a deep breath, not moving his gaze from no point in particular across the room. “I just,” he stammered, “I can’t believe she got an abortion.”
Puzzled, Lucas searched for a way to justify it. “Lan, they weren’t married and, you know, it would’ve complicated things. Kaya doesn’t have a lot of money and, I mean, I know it wasn’t a planned pregnancy. It was a mistake—”
“Lou,” Landon interrupted him, finally closing his eyes and sighing. After a minute, he spoke quietly. “Maybe it was a mistake. But it was a baby.”
Lucas had never seen this side of his brother before. Despite Landon being at seminary, he’d been careful not to go too heavily into religion when he spoke with his family, being more eager to preserve relationships than push principles. But Lucas could see that this was less a matter of belief and more one of emotion. He knew Landon better than anyone and he knew when he was being authentic. Truly, he knew his brother believed a baby had died.
The lights began to dim and the softened music shut off for good as the bartender slid a check across the counter to them.